Back because twitter doesn't allow me to complain without annoying others and 140 characters are certainly too short to express myself...
So here I am into the clinical years. It was all I wished about ever since I was in the pre-clinical years. Although I had expected it to be tough, and struggles may come about but I had never expect it to so clueless (I can be sure of nothing...really) and having to deal with people who ain't really got a sense of responsibility by themselves.
Perhaps this would be the time where we get to know who has supreme level of patience, who are willing to teach others despite being in a rush themselves and who are trying to sell fish~ Well, in short, getting to know others' true self.
I have always count my blessings, be grateful, and had never take lucks for granted. I am glad for what I have, for what I learnt despite being slower than some others and for having humanity towards my own patients who might have been in the waiting list for months or years. I vowed to be a good partner to my partner because she tolerates me a lot like I imagined mirror-ing her in me but I certainly might not have been the same.
I know I shouldn't be thinking over these but it came across my mind so many darn times, of why did I chose D over M! I had more excitement for classes/wardrounds/bedside teaching at HUKM than having our routine clinics. I SHOULD LOVE WHAT I DO right!
And because of the completely different cultures here (friends, coursemates, staffs, lecturers), I regretted of choosing to stay near home than being thousands miles away - learning a different culture and studying in a way better environment (but pursuing pure science is such a no-no for me, until now). But one thing for sure, I treasured every moments spent with my family during the weekends, not a second of regrets, having to smell homecook food and accompanying my parents through their 50s.
I knew I grew up with the right people, because they taught me what is responsibility and what is manners. I don't recall my mum or dad accompanying me to return textbooks. I go to school on my own, carrying all the books by myself. And they don't come home at 1pm just because I have fever. They would wait until they finish work to take me to the doctor. My parents don't take me as the reason to skip work or take emergency leave. EL is to be taken when it's really AN EMERGENCY. Or perhaps it's just the rules set too loose here? Naw, maybe that's the flexibility that seems to bring goodness to some but unfair to others...
How the system works here doesn't amaze me like how it did back in the forest 3 years ago. I had much respect for this university during my schoolings in the other part of this institute of higher education. Back then, it's not all about results or grades, it's about what we truly learn and how do we apply it in our life. However, through the current system of needing to conform to only requirements and not experience, unproductive graduates would be generated, like what we could witness now in news reports etc.
And so I am left with 3 days of holidays, but will be going back to the lab to finish off some works. Also to get something done for my partner, in the hope of having staff that could put themselves in our shoes or in a way, pity us, who are chasing to not-waste-the-clinical-sessions.